The Great Withdrawal

The 12th house, spiritual dissolving, and retreat.

When the walls begin melting in your spiritual transformation, you may go through a time of great withdrawal from society. This is known as the hermitude in my made-up word language.

Friedensreich Hundertwasser (Austria), Irinaland Over the Balkans (1969) - “I wanted to paint a picture which seemed to dissolve…”

Such a period of isolation is symbolized by the Twelfth House in astrology, which is associated with the sign of Pisces the Fish. As I’ve discussed of late, the teacher planet Saturn is in Pisces until May 2025. We are heeding this directive as a collective – that is, if we want to mature spiritually and psychologically (which point to the same thing, lest we forget that psyche means soul).

When one has gone through all phases of a life chapter, one must retreat in order to disassemble – like the “mush” period of a butterfly or moth in its cocoon: arms and legs go; antennae, teeth, guts, wings, brain go – it all dissolves.

It’s a period of needing intense quietude, withdrawal from the World. For those deeply drawn to spiritual evolution via our soul’s request (read, demand) – the big withdrawal is seen in a need to pull back from great swaths of relating. Family gatherings, friendships driven by nostalgia or outdated loyalty, community configurations, social settings, girl groups, guy hangouts – any of these can become constricting and disturbing to the spiritually transforming individual body-mind. This is because the self is undergoing ego dissolution – and many if not most of those old forms are reflecting the old structures of “This is who you are, right?!” back to you, over and over again, even though it is outdated.

At some point, the disresonance becomes unbearable, wherein it requires courage and clarity to back off, retreat, set a boundary, pull a Houdini, disappear. If you are doing the deeper listening, you’ll find said courage, eventually out of necessity. Usually it moves beyond a vague dissatisfaction into a roaring backlash, like a bad rash or migraine or stomach ache. It could lead to days of disorientation or anger or depressiveness after attempting to step into the old role, to “get it up” once again for those outdated structures and social configurations.

You may need to dramatically change your lifestyle, even move house or locale. You may need to tattoo “No, not today, thank you” to your third eye and decline invites on the spot, in the moment. What is vital is the deeper listening and honest self-admission of how uncomfortable the interactions have become.

Admittedly, there are those in such a transformation who feel called to stay involved out of preference or necessity. Some folks are so extroverted or otherwise ensconced they must do their disassembling with friends and family and community witnessing, standing by. Whether a public or private disassembling, reassure self and others that this is not personal.

Yes, in whatever phase of withdrawal, death, release, fare-thee-well, it is crucial to know this is not personal. It has nothing to do with “small self” you. For the very reason that said personhood – the “me,” the identity that’s been calcified and configured to show up in its dog and pony show for most of the life – well, that person is on its way out.

If this is applicable in your direct experience, make yourself as comfortable as possible during the great disassembling. And on a practical level, do your best to organize your life so that you may retreat, renounce, and allow the organic process to unfold.